Questions in My head

Questions currently in my head:
1) What am I doing here?
2) Why am I doing this?
3) Where am I doing this?
4) How am I doing this?
5) Last but not least, Who am I?

Well.. This is to remind myself why I am doing all these all the way in the United States.. So.. What actually am I doing here? hmmm.. To err.. gain the power of survival by myself in the future. When there is no one I can depend on.. That's the reason why my parents sent me here? I guess so.. But, the question is.. Can't I just do all these back in Malaysia? What's up with coming all the way here.. Spending a lot more money.. Being alone.. And lost in a bunch of unknown strangers..

Is all these really worth my time? Being away from my parents and friends. From a place where I am most comfortable in.. At least without worries that I have to do my laundry and get my own food and so many other things. I understand this can help me to be more independent and all those craps.. to live in a tough situation and many more.. I understand that.. But isit really necessary to go through all these to gain that strength? Doubtful.. I really don't know..

All these might make no sense.. As I've met ppl who tried to get away from home to avoid seeing their parents.. or just away from home.. It's all weird.. This is such a small matter compared to the bigger picture - the world. I don't know what I can do for the world or even my community. And I wonder anyone is trying to do for the world or just themselves? I can't say that I'm selfless and I wouldn't say that I am not selfish.. It's just the way life is.. We live for ourselves and all we seek for in our lives.. Is for the ultimate benefits of ourselves..

For example, You are studying hard. This is all for urself in the future. showing care and love to someone else.. is just a way for u to get back the same treatment.. As u would expect. The reality might be reflecting that everyone out there is somewhat selfish.. If for a moment you think u are not, think of this: would you rather die for someone that you love, or kill another for someone that you love.. I'm not challenging anyone to do it.. but think bout it. I would say Most but not all will rather kill another than themselves..

Sorry for all these crap.. I dont really know why I have all these crazy thoughts.. But Im just sharing what I think the world is.. and how all the people are acting for themselves.. That is just the way things are.. at least for me..

Hmmm.. Come to think of it.. We are so ermmm. Tiny.. compared to the world.. The chances or probability of one meeting another is pretty small... And I do believe in what is called fate.. which is the chance u get to meet another.. However, People always leave in ur life.. U can take my word for this.. And of course.. New people come in to ur life too.. Just like the cycle of life.. u were born.. grow older.. grow really old.. and dies.. Does it ends there? No one knows.. My point is.. Appreciate the people that is around you that U were offered the fate to meet them.. Someone else out there which probably like the rest of the world don get to meet this guy/girl. Try to be good to everyone.. Because it is better to make another friend than another enemy..

Lastly, Just appreciate that you are alive.. and the people who cares for you.. cause you won't know when They will LEAVE.. i know i know. it's all a cliche..

P.S.: This is not an emo post!

Yours appreciated friend ( i hope )
Jian Wei