Back from Reno!

yes! I'm back from Reno! it's a place with casinos! ahhaha just like a mini vegas. They are in the same state thou.. Besides, i also went to Northstar Resort for skiing! ahhaa.. it was fun to watch ppl falling down all the time when i don't fall anymore.. whahahahahaha! A fine weekend like this is what i need to forget about all the problems and stresses.. ahha U all should try it out too! =)

Anyway, I've seen ppl who are getting holidays soon! rarh! so do I! just a little longer time to go for me. That means my finals is coming real soon! the first paper will be on this Saturday. The weird thing is that I still hav classes after my first final paper. WHAT THE HECK!!? hahaha.. let's hope I can survive to the finals with all the colors of the world. I mean all! more than all those on the rainbow. haha and i hereby wish that everyone who is having finals or any exams or watever in life to pass with flying, floating, superb colors! hahaa.. omgosh im late for tutor.. I need help for physics... Till then.. jian signing off! weeee...

My Love Will Get You Home (song)

Spell?

Lost...

How many times have i been lost? losing my identity. not knowing who i am. Who i am to others. I don't know.. probably many times.. Just had a Sam Adams light beer. Been drinking quite frequently now.. mostly at nite. Guess i want to not remember that im lost. but even after a drink. nth changes. its like.. im still having the same feelings.. but a lil bit more numb on the outside thou.. but the inside nvr change..

Why do i have these worries inside me? worry that i might brokedown one day knowing that there's no meaning for my existence. Knowing that i might not be needed in the world. As they all get their own meaningful ones.. i will just be ditched aside..

I don't know what should i do now.. Going back to Malaysia doesn't seem so special now and a part of me wanted to go back but another part of me doesn't. I wanted to experience winter here. but how about the coming summer? should i go back? probably not because i want to take some summer courses so that i can grad in a shorter period of time. Not only that. there's some issues with my apartment rental. As im renting wit two other msian girls. we are sharing the rent of the apartment. So, if i were to go back to msia in summer. the rent goes on because there is no reason for me to not have to pay for my part of the rent when im not around. the only solution is to not go home OR to find someone who wants to stay in my room for summer. That's kinda hard as i have most of my stuffs in my room. How is that person going to live in my room with all my stuffs there.. I would be too lazy to shift out all my stuffs to empty my room for that person. Crap! see.. its not like i dont want to go back.. i just have all these stuffs to worry about. So, please stop asking me to go back as part of me wanted to but i cant for some understandable reasons..

Guess im kinda drunk now.. or maybe i wanted to be drunk and i get drunk easily. Look how many time si used drunk in this paragraph.. probably im drunk. probably im not drunk.. Okay.. i sound like im drunk now..

These days are weird.. I always look in my MSN and scroll down the list to see who's online. There are ppl who i have in mind to talk to. but for some reasons.. i stopped myself. I don't know what to talk to them. I always had this worry that they might be busy or they just dont wanna talk to me. Maybe its not the right time to talk to them.. all these craps! someone please help me.. is this normal? does anyone has the same experience?

Its probably due to past experience when i talk to them. they simply tell me that they are doing something or they have something to do.. that really makes me feel unneeded. unwanted or watever... its just.. disappointing! but i know i cant blame them. i just at least would like them to u know.. say hi to me first when they are free to do so.. haha.. probably i felt lonely now.. yeah.. i think i am.. pitiful me.

I'm going to have my last midterm in this semester on wednesday. What i did was a sheet of notes.. not completed yet.. sometimes i think my weakness is that i oversimplify stuffs.. everything.. i made them look simple to me.. but actually its not.. it's not easy to make things simple thou.. i guess its m weakness to OVERdo it! as my advise! never overdo something..

alrite.. i donno wat else to write.. i should probably just get some sleep and go shopping tmr! gilroy! the factory outlet town! ahahhaa... owh yeah.. i bought my clothing for skiing in thanksgiving.. ehehe... it costs me quite a lot.. i think more than 200 dollars.. but i just have to spend it once.. hopefully.. =)

My Love Will Get You Home

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashame, my love will get you home.
If its only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home. Boy, my love will get you home.

Hah! A song from "Heart of Greed". hmm.. let say its soft.. hahaha yeah! definitely a goodnite song... LOL.. anyone has any idea how to add songs to bloggie? hahaha.. i know i know.. its lame.. but just to add in something so i can share songs here as well.. hahaha..

Anyway, those are the pics of a game of broomball! ahhaa.. it was fun! but i can hardly breathe in the ice center. I don't know why. Probably of the cold air? haha its really cold.. never expect it to be that cold. anyways.. broomball is like ice hockey. Without skates. and brooms instead of the hockey stick.. LOL i donno wat they call it. wweeee! i scored 1 ! =P

This weekend was really a good one. Just had 2 midterms and the following should be so much less stress.. cause there's not as much homework or anything else to worry about. I finished Heart of Greed too! haha 40 episodes.. Basically my weekend is spent on Series, Basketball, Broomball. and other normal stuffs which im lazy to list them.

To those who are stress.. or maybe not doing that well. You should just look ahead! haha get back on your feet and seek jian wei for help. i will give u a push on your back. not too hard yet not too soft. Just enuff to keep you going. =) Guess i will need someone else to do that to me real soon. As i predict that i am going to be stressed up real soon.hahaha it's always like that.. maybe sometimes its good to tell ppl that everything is going to be ok. If that gives them hope to walk on the tough and rough and full of obstacles road! hehe.. but im sure it will be a superb outcome at the end.

Hmmm.. LSZ asked me to consider going back next summer. HAHA.. so i am! considering the pros and cons.. The last time i went back was not that beneficial. hahaha.. as i spent most my time playing dota, basketball? haha but its cool. I'll see how things goes ok? hehehe.. The thing is i've never experience a summer here yet. I've so far experience all other seasons.. at least im going too... haha.. Can't wait for the ski trip during thanksgiving.. Probably the only motivation now.. hahaha ski ski ski ski ski ski ski.. snowboard maybe? hahaha.. maybe maybe not maybe maybe not. LOL. omgosh.. is that what happens when ppl get hyper? hmmm.. probably.. i ate a lot of stuffs this weekend as i stayed in front of the lap top most of the time..

owh yah.. in the "Heart Of Greed" that guy writes a diary! haha.. he started after breaking up with the girl. can't believe he is writing every single day down for like 900 days? hahaha.. omg.. how can he take that? that's nuts.. hahaha.. hmmm any new songs to recommend? anyone? hehe.. thanks!